Wednesday, June 23, 2010

forward thinking

it's been a big year for my new little family of two.  in a little over a week it will be our one year anniversary, which is as hard to believe as it is exciting.  we've been so challenged, stretched, humbled, grateful and blessed this year.  when i think about how dramatically different our lives were this year compared to the year before alone, i can't help but feel awe.

friends, though ross and i are still complete beginners at the whole marriage thing, i can't express enough how much love we have for this institution given & ordained by God.  when i think about how ross loves me my throat instantly closes up into that uncomfortable i'm-not-going-to-cry feeling.  i constantly go back to the same insecure-girl thoughts of "why does he love me?" but more questions than that bounce around my mind, like "how does he have to strength to serve me, day after day?" "how is he so quick to forgive?" "how does he choose to love me on the days i fail so miserably at loving him?" marriage is 100% humbling & eye-openeing.  when i look at ross- my heart is moved in a new and powerful way, not because of his imperfect human love, but because of the powerful, heart-stopping, shocking love that Christ has for me.  on my ugliest and darkest days the perfect Christ loves me. and because i'm so dense and forgetful of that fact, he gave ross to me as a daily reminder of the intimate love Christ has for me, for us.  even when ross fails at loving me perfectly, i'm glad of it, because i'm reminded that there is only One who loves fully and flawlessly.

for some reason yesterday ross & i independently had the same thought and shared it with each other when we were hanging out on the porch yesterday afternoon.  we were talking about our upcoming anniversary and all the ups & downs of our first year of marriage, and we both felt that sometimes we dwell in the past just a little too much.

ross admitted that he's all for nostalgia (he's mr. captain-of-the-high-school-football-team, after all. sidenote: i already know he's going to be one of those dad's that makes our kids groan from hearing the same high school/football/college/fraternity stories over and over [but they'll secretly love it, like me]) and i've never lived in the past so much as i have this year.  seriously, i always thought those people who were obsessed with high school were so lame...and then i became one of those people who lamely obsesses about college being the best four years of my life.

obviously, we'll never give up on nostalgia, but as our one year anniversary approaches we're going to try and focus on the next year(s) more than looking back.  we've done plenty of looking back.  it's been a big year, but there is so much more to come.

so, in the spirit of looking forward, here are some of the big upcoming events happening in the pinson family:

* this weekend ross & i will celebrate our one year in dallas!
* on monday, ross leaves for five weeks air force officer training in alabama. welcome back LDR.
* next week i'm heading down to new orleans for the first official tribe (my college community) reunion...and my best friend, my other other half, sarah miller will return from spain. ummmm it makes me want to yell at the top of my longs in the rain on a cliff, garden state style, and that's an understatement.
* on july 12th, i'll be having some long overdue sinus surgery.
* in august, ross will start his second year of medical school & i'll start my full time job! Praise the Lord.


Sarah said...

This post rules!!! Love you plu, can't wait to be face to face talking to you...and probably peeing my pants laughing. AHHHH next week!!

Mrs. Frazier said...

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. this post. Thank you... :) (PS- I also adore your metal R... so cute. I'll be on the lookout for a K.)If you get bored in Dallas, call us up... dinner or coffee or icecream would be divine.

Ellie said...

Love, love this post! So sweet! I am so excited for you and Ross!


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