my diva

i got to talk to my big today. it was a really good talk. she had a dream about me the other night, and called to tell me that in her dream she read this verse to me. it's such a peaceful feeling to know that people are praying for you, and to see when God speaks through them to you. no matter what phase of life we are in, God is always our keeper and protector.

Psalm 121 {The Message}

^1-2 I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

^3-4 He won't let you stumble,
your Guardian God won't fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel's
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

^5-6 God's your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.

^7-8 God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.

wandering thoughts...

{from here}

michelangelo explained that when he carved his infamous masterpieces out of marble that he believed they already existed inside and that he was simply letting them free. i've always felt the same way about writing papers... the paper already exists, i just have to free the words.

anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i believe my silly 7 page paper will write itself eventually. my mind is wandering to sweet and simple delights of the future home i will share with a boy. namely: pretty green, yellow, and blue walls for light to bounce off of & a fluffy cozy bed to never leave on saturday mornings.

growing up can be cool, pt.1

{from here}

time to focus on the positive!
there ARE good aspects being out of school.
{they just may be few ad far between. just kidding!..}

one cool thing about life in the real world:
you can read for PLEASURE.

colossians 1:27

And this is the secret:
Christ lives in you.
This gives you assurance
of sharing his glory.

true or false: waffle house

sadie morgan. how do i describe this girl? in one word: free.

free from the constraints of social norms and filters. if she thinks it, she just says it. why walk across the room to talk to someone when you can just yell your excitement to see them? if she feel like jumping, laughing, dancing, playing- she does it, and she does it loud, big, and full of life.
her ability to be free can take people off guard, which is beautiful. simply by being herself she shines, and causes others to reconsider why they live under such strict social regulations.

the real beauty of sadie shines through the way she freely and passionately loves others. she was a constant and joyful servant during our entire spring break because that's how she lives her life everyday. if you are hungry, she will make you a new tasty snack that she read about in a magazine. if you are thirsty, she can make some homemade sangria or concoct a yummy drink out of whatever is in the refrigerator. sore back? she gives the best massages around.

sadie is beautiful because she lives life unabashedly. she constantly thinks about others over herself and relentlessly loves on others. she is the joyful giver that Christ calls us all to be. he has set her free, and she embraces the gift. a world in which we were all like sadie is too good to image.

journey

i've decided to keep the joy alive of sb2k9
by celebrating the people that were a part of one this sweet time
& the life lessons they taught me somewhere between sunbathing and dancing the night away.
after all, we never have to say goodbye to the people that mean something to us:
they become a part of us and travel in us through this crazy journey called life.

"God has a plan, but you gotta make it happen." - hayden lamb

if you google him, you will find some pretty impressive stuff...he's played in a very successful christian rock band called red, gone to the grammys, been in some rockin' music videos, and there is even an entry about him on wikipedia. but none of that defines him.

he loves Jesus and listens attentively & patiently for his calling. an injury to his shoulder put his drumming career on hold, and even though he is not actively involved in music ministry currently, he is still a light to all that meet him. he is truly humble and would rather listen to someone else's story than share pieces of his own.

hayden rocks a faux-hawk, has a twin brother, lives with some very talented and well known musicians, and wants to be a cowboy. but he didn't even believe us when we said he was cute!
his humility, passion for life, and resilient faith in Christ are truly inspiring.
he encourages me to dream big, trust in God's plan, and actively pursue his will.

yellow roses are my favorite

{from here}

it's one of those quiet, gray monday mornings. the sun decided to leave with the weekend and a drizzle contemplates entering the scene.

i'm feeling pensive this morning, thanks to the weather i'm sure. God's grace amazed me this past week in a new way. although i've been pushing my dear fiance away with the panic i'm feeling from all the changes swallowing my life, he stands steadfast in his love and committment. i love him for that, but moreso i love Christ who gave ross the strength to continue to stand by me. he even gave me yellow roses.

the sermon at church yesterday was about what exactly the church is. simply, the church is people. of course there will be corruption and discord within a church, it is made up of sinful people. while Christ waits for us with open arms and a perfect heart full of love, we push him away and run the opposite direction. this week i saw a glimpse of how a husband is called to love his wife- as christ loves the church. while i cause pain through my sin, ross continues to fight for me anyway, and forgive me before i even ask.

love is giving someone flowers when they least deserve it, and holding on to someone who tries to run away.

dance the night away

104 days until the big day.
i'm too scared to count the number
until graduation.
one thing i know for sure:
we are not guaranteed tomorrow-
so it's time to live it up!

the rest of this semester is officially my
"yesmester"
what to hang out? yes.

true love

I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
While the world turns the other way
I will not take my love away

I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone

I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need

I will not take my love away
-matt wertz

miss you, sb2k9.

"i feel like since you've come back you've been a completely different person," he said to me.

i wonder if that's true. i feel different, but maybe it's just a phase. i feel like i accidentally stumbled upon a wardrobe and fell into Narnia. the thing is with Narnia, you can't really go back. and even if you do, it's not the same.


none of us were particularly excited about the trip...and that probably contributed to our surprise in experiencing the best week of our lives, together. i know Narnia wouldn't be the same if i went back, but is it possible for me to be the same in my real life? the world outside of the wardrobe?

in a way, i hope not. we were all exceptionally blessed with an indescribable week. love, joy, community, laughter, sun, friends...a little glimpse into Heaven maybe. i guess it just shows my sin... my greedy hands want more and are discontent with the blissful gift that is my home now, that is Baylor.


anyway, i miss you SB2K9. i don't know how you happened, but i'm glad you did...even though all i want to do now is listen to emo music. hopefully good will continue to come from the too good to be true week that you were.

the red wheelbarrow

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

"According to my ten minute crash course, Carlos wished to break free from the symbolism and complicated forms common during the Victorian period in honor of that which was more direct and realistic. His work was part of the Imagist movement, whose writers favored clarity and precision over allusion and ambiguity.

Given the double talk coming from wall street and the economic powers that be lately, I can't help but think how much America would benefit if those pulling the financial strings would adopt a similar approach."

from my new favorite blog, written by the woman living my dream life.

baylor pi phis represent

{look here}

mideterm week

i would like to be driving away right now, please.

the bachelor is dead.

ahhhhh.

clearly we have an interest in love, and we are looking for it in all the wrong places. thankfully, everyone tuning in last night was fully disgusted with an exaggeration of the shows norms: empty promises and a selfish desire for who makes you happy at that moment. once the excitement produced by the show dies, so does the feelings the 'happy couple' once mistook to be love.

where is the love?

it's with this pretty lady. no wait, never mind, i think it was with that one. waaaiiitt a second, let me go back again.

maybe as a society we are finally realizing the problems with this behavior. at least jason was good for something.

story telling

"Tell your marital story. Tell it to your kids, your friends, your brothers and sister, but especially to each other. The more your story is implanted in your brain, the more it serves as a hedge against the myriad forces that seek to destroy your marriage. Make your story so familiar that it becomes part of the fabric of your being. It should become a legend that is shared through the generations as you grow a family tree that defies all odds and boasts marriage after marriage of stability, strength, and longevity." -Jerry Jenkins

{from here}

i love this challenge to embrace, built, and stay loyal to our story. in our premarital counseling class this weekend, we talked about how even before sin entered the world and Adam and God had perfect community with each other, Adam still needed a partner. obviously, since marriage is the most sacred of gifts God gives to man, Satan will try to attack and destroy it. he's doing a great job in america through our distorted media and self-gratifying culture, but the fight is not over and it's gaining more attention. every marriage is a ministry.

husband of the future

{from here}

this will be my future husband in 60 years,

dancing his heart out.